The Old Bar Booze

A barkeep's schmooze...

Photo by Shana Van Roosbroek on Unsplash

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The Old Bar Booze

In an old bar
it ain't nothin'
but booze
to celebrate—
not a thing
to everything,
or cry when 
you lose, and lose.
You sing the blues
into a glass, or
to a lass 
back o' the bar.

In an old bar
there is
daily, common—
Beer on tap,
filled frosted mug,
buck-a-beer
Happy Hour.
It's more than
an hour's time
to get in all that
HAPPY!

Choose
Coors Light, Bud Light,
Amber Bock, or
heavy Moose Drool.
For a cinched up budget,
get a few more ounces 
worth with these buck-a-cans:
Schlitz, Olympia 
call it 'Oly,'
choose a Hamms
and the bear can 
claw your sorrows out,
or grab a Raineer and
rev away on commercial's
tune Rain-eerrrr,
Raaain-eeeer  Beeerrrr.

Got fired, married tired
all is on the rocks?
Have the hard stuff 
Whiskey, Vodka, Gin,
or a fine Scotch.
Take it on the chin, 
but in an old fashioned glass,
a full jigger might do ya,
but, no? 
Then call for a double 
on the rocks;
ice down, double down
your angst
until you feel
a win.

In an old bar,
oh those SHOTS
shoot em' back,
celebrate
or berate the 
sorrows you've brought in.
TEQUILA! 
Chaser—
what's your likin'?
but, for sure 
lick that hand and 
shake that salt shaker,
lick it again and 
LIME!
Call for an 
After Shock, Kamikaze,
Fire Ball Whiskey or 
light-it-all-up with a 
Prairie Fire!

Maybe you're young and
got some dumb 
or are just a dirty drinker. 
You can't— 
pass up those requests:
Slippery Nipple, Panty Dropper,
Fuzzy Navel, Cowboy Cocksucker,
have Sex on the Beach.
Why are they always named
in objectifying style?!
Sex sells! SEX SELLS!
And maybe if you find it
funny, and she giggles 
after the glass,
her silence may be had, 
should she be had.
Reality IS
it's ALL 
sickening, bad,
but who is really carin'?!
Knock back 
a Mind Eraser or 
Liquid Cocaine and 
ALL the rotten
will be forgotten.
But, 
can it???

Still, maybe you 
choose to order, sip,
and tip 
because you actually  
have some CLASS;
drink from a fancy glass.
Order up:
Martini, Mojito, Mint Julep
Gimlet, 
Singapore Sling, White Russian,
or Sloe Gin Fizz.
Toast a Ginger Rogers,
Manhattan, or Bloody Mary.
Give cheers with
Rob Roy, Tom Collins or a Harvey Wallbanger.
Sip that Old Fashioned, Side Car,
or knock back a Godfather.
If not a Grasshopper, 
then a Bee's Knees.
And, please,
keep your upper-class style!

Now,
in an old bar,
on a cold night,
when snow is flyin,'
order it up 
HOT!
Hot cocoa is
peppermint warm with 
a shot of Schnapps,
or Fall feelin' tasty with
a jigger of Blackberry Brandy.
Ask for that Hot Toddy or 
Hot Buttered Rum, 
Irish Coffee, or a
Tom and Jerry;
all sure to bring the
temperature up and up.
If you've had too many,
then, slow it down— 
a bar thick coffee with 
a splash of Baileys Irish Cream
will seem you aren't even
drinkin'.

In an old bar
in an old, tired town, 
you DREAM
of a getaway.
'magine that trip 
while you sip a
Pina Colada, Mai Tai,
Tahiti Club, or Daiquiri—
Strawberry!

In an old bar,
likely, though,
you're just—stuck.
Try your luck with these
frequent flyers:
Amaretto Sour,
Alabama Slammer,
Tequila Sunrise,
Screwdriver, or
7 and 7.  

In an old bar
it ain't nothin'
but booze
and if you've got
nothin' to lose,
be brave and 
take the sudden wave,
on a Long Island Iced Tea—
but never two.

With an end 
of a drink pourin', 
shakin', stirrin', 
tab poppin', 
bottle uncappin',
servin' shift—
my chance arrives
for long awaited
Aaahhhh moment
to take a seat on the 
old bar's drinkin' side.
Pour a 
cooled shot of 
Jäger,
put my feet up
on a stool,
unwind with 
sips of nothin'
but smooth
in an old bar.
That's my groove 
with
the old bar booze.



 W-Gray,  1997

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Photo by DaYsO on Unsplash

Photo by Anna Pascale on Unsplash

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